The Worst Vest
by One Nutty Tree
Summary: When Hatter is shot, the bullet proof vest doesn't protect him as well as it should do. But it does make Alice wonder, why does he have it in the first place?
1. Chapter 1

Alice fumbled in the strange bus trying to find the correct knob or lever that would take her up. She glanced into the corridor. Dodo was coming. She didn't have much time. She started to grapple with the wheel. Still nothing.

"Alice!" she turned to see Hatter fighting with Dodo. "It's the blue button!" She found it in no time and her hand hovered over it as she watched the two men pummel each other. Hatter had a powerful right hook but his injury gave Dodo the upper hand. "Push it!" Hatter yelled. As he was knocked onto the floor Alice made her decision.

She ran over to the pair, pushed Dodo away from her friend and delivered a series of kicks that left the man breathless. Hatter grabbed his hat and Alice helped him up.

"How did you do that?" he gasped.

She ignored his question and pulled him towards the bus. Once they were both onboard Alice slammed down the blue button and Hatter collapsed onto the floor. She knelt down and unbuttoned his shirt to reveal a rather worn bullet proof vest.

"You're not even hurt!" she exclaimed, partly in wonder, but mostly in anger.

She ran her fingers over the vest and Hatter let out a yell.

"Yes – I – am!"

Alice's hand recoiled instantly. The bullet had broken through the thinner black material around Hatter's shoulder. There were several other dents in the vest around it.

"Make a habit of getting shot do you?" she asked.

"They always go for the shoulder. I've been meaning to get a new one of these." Her hand crept cautiously back towards the bullet. "Just don't touch it!"

"Okay! It's your own fault that you were shot in the first place, why didn't you tell me what you were going to do?" Alice shouted angrily.

"Because then you would have never come."

"Too right I wouldn't have! He nearly killed me!"

"Well he actually shot me!" Hatter exclaimed.

The bus juddered to a halt.

"We're here." Alice announced and stood up. She stormed over to the door. "You coming or not?"

Hatter slowly sat up, wincing.

"I'm sorry, I was impetuous." he apologised.

"Selfish, Hatter you were selfish!"

He gingerly got to his feet and stumbled towards Alice, one hand clutching his shoulder.

"Whatever you want to call it. Alice, this place is dangerous."

"No kidding." she said eyeing the bleeding gun shot.

"You're going to need all the help you can get."

She couldn't argue with that. Hatter seemed to take her silence as an agreement and led the way.

Alice noted in concern that staying on his feet seemed to be a bit of a challenge. He evidently noticed this too.

"Let's stop here for a minute." he suggested.

Hatter reached into his pocket and drew out a rather garish handkerchief to match his hat. He took off his jacket.

"What are you doing?"

"Patching meself up." Hatter replied, tying the fabric around his shoulder.

"When did you decided you needed body armour?" Alice asked.

"You can't be too careful. I had a friend in the resistance once, he got shot. He died."

"I'm sorry." Hatter said nothing as he secured the knot. Then he continued to lead the way. Alice found herself thinking once again about the resistance that hid underneath Wonderland. "Hatter?"

"What?" he said, impatiently turning round.

"What is the stone of Wonderland?" she replied, alarmed to note how pale his face was.

"You mean that rock you've got on your finger? It's a big deal. It controls the Looking Glass. By now the Queen of Hearts will have all of her suits out searching for it so you have to keep moving if you want to leave here alive."

He continued to stride down the dull grey path that lined most of the Wonderland buildings. Alice followed.

"I'm not leaving without Jack."

"Forget him Alice; going to the casino would be suicide."

"Look it's my fault he's here, he was trying to sweep me off my feet – I'm not going without him."

Hatter stared at the stubborn brunette partly in admiration but mostly in irritation.

"How _did _Jack get the ring?" he wondered.

Alice remembered what Jack had told her but now knew that it had to be a lie. The ring couldn't possibly have been in his family for as long as he claimed.

"I don't know."

Suddenly Hatter came to a standstill. Alice bumped into him and he hissed in pain, one hand instantly jumping to his shoulder.

"Sorry. What is it?"

"Stick around rats for long enough and you become one."

Alice peered round Hatter and quickly saw what he meant. The ragged man who'd first found her was now ratting her out to a group of suits. However there was also a strange man who had a rather disturbing rabbit head instead of a regular one. He wore a grey suit but it was different from the ones the people around him were dressed in. It was not a uniform and to Alice it virtually stunk of Al Capone.

"Who's that?" she asked.

"No – it can't be – " said Hatter. The white head twitched, almost as if its gigantic ears had heard them. Then the man/rabbit turned and started to head towards the pair. "Run!"

Alice didn't need telling twice.

They raced in the opposite direction and Alice noted in concern that Hatter was still clutching his shoulder.

"What is that thing?" she panted.

"Mad March!"

"Huh?"

"Bad news for us. Come on!"

Despite his shoulder Hatter was still faster than Alice and was the first into his smuggling boat. He tugged at the engine cord with little effect and jumped to the wheel instead. Alice sat next to him and anxiously watched the suits get closer. Fortunately the boat's engine finally started up and they sped away from the shore. Hatter let out a sigh of relief.

"Who is Mad March?" Alice asked.

"Don't you ever stop with the questions?" he groaned. Alice gave him a look. "March is the Queen's favourite assassin. I think it's safe to say I know him a little better than I should."

Alice stared at Hatter curiously. There was far more to the brightly dressed man than met the eye.

"Did you anger the Queen?"

"No, I work both sides of the court remember? March was suspicious of me. Chances are he definitely is now."

Alice could think of nothing to say to that. For a while they travelled in silence but eventually she broke it.

"Hatter we're slowing down."

He nodded wearily.

"How much do you know about speed boats?" Alice stared at him blankly. "In that case we'll head for the forest."

"Why?"

"Because I don't particularly fancy passing out and crashing the boat!" Hatter snapped.


	2. Chapter 2

"Do you have any better suggestions?" he asked.

Alice glanced at the material around Hatter's shoulder. The colourful fabric was stained blood red. Unable to argue with Hatter's suggestion she helped him cover the speed boat with large obscuring leaves once they'd parked at the forest bay. That was when they heard a roar.

"What was that?"

"The Jabberwocky."

"The what?"

"Look on the bright side, Mad March won't be able to get us now."

Alice glared at Hatter.

"What is the Jabberwocky?"

"A creature local to these woods." Hatter explained. "If you're unlucky you'll see it for yourself."

He took a few minutes to regain his breath before staggering forwards.

"Where are you going?"

Hatter stopped and leant against a nearby tree trunk.

"Good question." he murmured, closing his eyes.

For a few minutes he was silent. Feeling concerned, Alice went over to him.

"Hatter?"

He opened his eyes to find hers staring at him. They were a rather beautiful chocolate brown. He forced himself to think practically.

"Reckon we should make camp somewhere round here."

"In the Jabberwocky's lair?" said Alice dubiously.

"It lives in the centre of the forest; so long as we stay on the outskirts we should be fine." Alice raised an eyebrow and Hatter groaned. "You have some serious trust issues."

In many ways Alice knew he was spot on, but she wasn't about to admit anything to the wacky stranger.

"Why should I trust you? You would've handed my ring over to that bird – "

"Dodo."

" – just like that!"

"I didn't know it was the ring of Wonderland!"

"Neither did I!"

"I got shot because of him Alice, I think I've learnt my lesson."

Her eyes flickered to his shoulder. He _had _taken a bullet for her. Surely that had to count for something? She glanced at their surroundings.

"Should I get some more of those leaves?"

Hatter nodded. He was glad that the stubborn brunette was at least agreeing with him, if reluctantly. She went to find the leaves and he followed.

Camp took a surprisingly small amount of time to set up. Well, to Hatter it seemed like that. He had initially tried to help out with the work but his shoulder made it difficult. He tried to hide the pain but Alice saw through his disguise when he collapsed. After that she'd forced him to rest. Hatter certainly wasn't complaining. He currently lay against the tree trunk, drifting in and out of consciousness as she made the harsh environment temporarily cosy. By the time it was dark it seemed that she had finished and she crouched down so she was staring him directly in the face. He felt like he could drown in her worry, it made him feel a hell lot worse.

"How are you feeling?"

"Sore but I'll survive."

He carefully shifted himself into a better sitting position and she sat down in front of him.

"What are we going to do about food?"

Hatter checked his jacket pockets, then his trouser pockets.

"I haven't got anything on me, but that can change."

He slowly stood up and pulled a gun from his lower trouser pocket.

"Why the hell do you have a gun?" Alice screeched.

"Pinched it off Dodo, you can never be too careful." he muttered. "Don't panic, I won't use it on you."

Alice didn't look convinced. He squinted at the forest skies and put a finger to his lips, indicating for her to be quiet.

It wasn't long till they heard birdsong. Hatter grinned. Bingo. He shook off the dizziness, narrowed his eyes, aimed and shot. Alice jumped as a bird some distance away fell to the ground with a loud thud.

"You get the fire started, I'll go get dinner."

Alice stared at the ground resolutely and started to rub a few stones together like she'd been taught to do at scouts. Hopefully her childhood would pay off round about now.

By the time Hatter returned Alice was warming her hands by the fire. She'd got it going nicely after a little practise. She glanced up. He still looked pale, but there was a smile on his face and a rather large bird in his hand.

"That's huge!" she exclaimed.

"It's been a while since I last got one this big." he admitted.

"You're a good shot."

Hatter shrugged.

"Normally I miss. I just got lucky."

He sat down and started to cut up the meat with a knife he had in another one of his pockets. Alice stared at him.

"You're very – prepared."

"This day had to come sometime."

She frowned.

"What do you mean?"

"When you work both sides of the court you need to have a back-up plan. I don't know if you noticed Alice but my shop was raided. The resistance isn't about to take me in, my only option is to go back to your world with you. Or at least, stay in the forest and make the most of nature without getting eaten by the Jabberwocky."

He said it with a grin but Alice could tell it wasn't genuine. Hatter was a desperate man and his eyes gave most of it away. He had rather nice eyes, even if they were a little haunted. She realised, feeling slightly guilty, that she knew very little about the friend who was helping her in this strange new world. She didn't even know what haunted those eyes. It couldn't have been easy growing up in a place as bizarre and rebellious as Wonderland. He glanced up at the sky.

"It's getting late. You should probably get some sleep."

"What about you?"

"I'll take first watch."

Despite the man's bravery demonstrated earlier Alice was still reluctant to let a complete stranger watch over her.

"I'll do it." she said. "You need to rest."

He looked a little surprised, but relieved nonetheless.

"Okay." Hatter snuggled up against the tree. "Wake me up when you start feeling tired."

Alice nodded.

He fell asleep almost instantly and she didn't blame him. She knew that he must be exhausted by now. It was the first time she'd properly seen him with his guard down, he was always alert in case of danger, always looking for a way out, but he'd still saved her. Despite his manipulative ways Alice knew that she owed him big time for that bullet. She couldn't help but think that Hatter was kind of cute when he was sleeping but Alice instantly chastised herself. She should be worrying about Jack.

Her boyfriend was out here because she wasn't smart enough to say yes to an amazing ring. Even if neither of them had understood what it meant at the time. She glanced down at it and sighed. There was no getting Jack off of her mind now. It was going to be a long night.


	3. Chapter 3

After what felt like about an hour Alice could feel her eyelids beginning to droop. She gently shook Hatter awake, being careful not to jar his shoulder.

"Whatisit?" he mumbled opening his eyes.

"Your turn to keep a lookout."

He groaned but she couldn't tell whether it was out of pain or annoyance. As she curled up in her spot the last thing Alice saw before she fell asleep was Hatter shifting himself into a sitting position.

Sleep came instantly that night, but was also instantly removed from her as Alice felt somebody shaking her. Hard. Whoever it was had one hell of a grip.

"Ow!" she exclaimed, promptly opening her eyes.

Hatter crouched directly in front of her.

"Ssh!" he hissed, raising a finger to his lips.

"What is it?"

"Shut up!" For a moment there was silence and then there was the sound of footsteps. "They've found us." he whispered. "We have to move."

Realising the urgency of the situation Alice scrambled to her feet.

"Where do we go? They sound close." she noted as there was another nearby crackle of leaves.

"We go to the last place they'll want to. The centre of the forest."

"To the Jabberwocky." Alice realised.

"Yeah I try not to think about that part. Come on!" Hatter whispered.

Alice was surprised to find his fingers enclosing around hers. Part of her wanted to shy away from this strange man she barely knew, but the other part of her knew that for the moment this stranger was the only person she could trust in this crazy world. Together, they headed deeper into the dark forest. For the most part Hatter lead the way.

"Just how far in do we have to go?" Alice snapped, beginning to lose her patience.

"Ssh!"

"Don't shush me!"

Hatter put his hand over her mouth. For a few minutes there was silence, then he withdrew his hand. Alice was not happy.

"I think we're safe now." he said.

She rolled her eyes.

"I should damn well hope so!" she replied a little too loudly.

That was when the Suit jumped out from behind the tree.

"Alice behind you!" Hatter cried.

She took in his expression and whipped around to give her opponent a powerful kick to the abdomen. The Suit crumpled to the floor. Hatter whistled. Alice of Legend or not, this woman could be pretty impressive.

"Let's go." she said and stepped over the Suit she'd incapacitated.

Hatter started to step Suit too but the man grabbed his leg. Taken by surprise Hatter crashed to the ground, shoulder first. He bit his lip, trying to prevent the inevitable cry of pain from escaping him and clutched his wounded arm. The Suit was now scrambling towards him. The man's clothing acted as good camouflage in the darkness of night; Hatter could hear him but had difficulty seeing him. Blindly he kicked out and, judging by the yelp of pain, struck lucky. He slowly got to his feet and headed in the direction he hoped Alice had gone in, taking a moment to apply another kick to his attacker.

"Alice?" he whispered. "Alice where are you?"

He knew this was not the best of ideas given that he had the Queen's best assassin following him _again _but he didn't know how else to find her. Hatter prayed that she was nearby.

He still reeled from the agony in his shoulder but knew this was no time or place for screaming just as much as he wanted to scream. Instead he was forced to whisper.

"Alice?" Then he heard an unforgettable roar. He was in the Jabberwocky's territory now. However it was the following yell that truly scared him. "Alice!"

He started to run in the direction of the noise, hoping he wouldn't be too late to help her. He could hear the huge, clomping footsteps of the beast approaching. Then they abruptly stopped. Hatter cursed and decided that now was the time to make himself heard.

"ALICE!" he shouted.

"Hatter?" She was close. "Hatter where are you?"

He followed the sound of her voice to find her on the floor. The Jabberwocky's monstrous head was barely an inch away from her. It was hard to tell in the dim lighting but it seemed like the creature was stuck.

"I'm right here." Hatter replied and, without thinking, punched the Jabberwocky as hard as he could manage.

The creature's head reeled back just long enough for Hatter to help Alice up and together they began an adrenaline fuelled sprint to safety. It was pitch black so they didn't see the pit until it was too late. Hatter cried out in pain and yelled a few other words that Alice didn't recognise. Judging by the tone of his voice however she guessed what he was saying wasn't polite.

"Hatter are you okay?"

"OW! No. Are you alright?"

"Yeah I think so. Where are you?"

"I'm right-OW- next to you!"

It was too dark for Alice to see her hand in front of her face, let alone her companion. She reached out for him but found her hand kept hitting wood. There were a number of spikes all around them. She was amazed that they had not been speared when they'd fallen. Finally she touched Hatter but quickly pulled her hand away when she heard another cry of pain.

"Where does it hurt?"

"Shoulder." he gasped.

"Okay just stay calm."

Hatter chuckled.

"I-I can't believe I punched the Jabberwocky," he paused. "with my bad arm."

"You what!?" There was silence. "Hatter? Hatter!"

Not caring whether she was touching his shoulder or not Alice shook him but there was still no response. Suddenly a new voice came from above the pit.

"Vermin! Saboteurs! Anarchists! I was this close to catching him you scoundrels!" the stranger complained in a thick English accent.

"Who the hell are you?" Alice cried.

He climbed down through the darkness towards her. She wondered how he could see anything when it was so dark.

"I am a knight. A white knight to be precise. Sir Charles Eustice Fotheringay Malfoy the third. Who are you?"

"I'm – Alice."

"Alice? The Alice?"

She could tell that he was barely a metre away from her now.

"No, just Alice."

"Hm. And who is your – friend?" he asked.

"Hatter. How can you see anything at this time of day?"

"Oh I have my ways, specifically I have my inventions. Take this." Alice held out her hand and felt something smooth and cold being placed on it. "They are goggles. Try them on."

Sure enough, when Alice put them on, she could see as clear as day.

"Wow! These are amazing!"


End file.
